A lawyer and an electrician are sitting next to each other on a long flight. The lawyer thinks that he can easily get one over on the electrician. So he asks him if he would like to play a fun game.
The electrician is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and says that the game is really a lot of fun. "I ask you a question and if you don't know the answer, you pay me only $5. Then you can ask me one and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $500." This catches the electrician's attention and to keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game.
The lawyer asks his first question, "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The electrician doesn't say a word, reaches into his pocket and pulls out a $5 bill and hands it to the lawyer.
Now it's the electrician's turn. He asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?" The lawyer uses his laptop on the plane, which has Internet access, and searches all the references he can find. After an hour of searching he finally gives up. He wakes the electrician and hands him five fresh $100 bills. The electrician pockets the money and falls back to sleep.
Not knowing the answer drives the lawyer crazy. He wakes the electrician up and asks, "Well' what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?"
TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS: Maria!
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: Because you told me to do it without using the tables.
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile'?
GLENN: k-r-o-k-o-d-i-a-l
TEACHER: No, that's incorrect.
GLENN: It may be wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago?
WINNIE: Me! (She was nine.)
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louis, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George was still holding the ax.
TEACHER: Ashley, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your sister's. Did you copy hers?
ASHLEY: No, it's the same dog.
BILLY: A teacher.
