Comical Fourth of July tweets
- Remember if you've been drinking and are going to be using fireworks - make sure someone is getting it on video.
- If Hulk Hogan sees his shadow on the 4th of July we get six more weeks of WrestleMania!
- Dad, why do we celebrate 4th of July? Well son, it celebrates our defeating the aliens that blew up the White House after which Will Smith attacked them.
- Don't let seeing your grandpa in shorts ruin your 4th of July!
- Someone told me that they don't have the 4th of July in other countries. Seems kinda stupid to skip from the 3rd to the 5th, but whatever.
- Most people's 4th of July plans are really just what people do in Texas everyday - eat bbq, drink beer and light stuff on fire.
- Who else's parents waited until July 5 and then bought them Fourth of July shirts from Old Navy?
- If someone tweets "Hope you had a great 4th of July!" – they’re about to ask you for something.
- Don't forget to acknowledge the sad, untouched bowl of Ruffles potato chips left on an outside table at whatever 4th of July BBQ you attend.
- Happy 4th of July. Can't wait to scroll through all your lousy, blurry fireworks pics
- 4th of July is a very special day when really smart people spend the money they've normally designated for the lottery on loud explosives.
- 4th of July is the best holiday because all the dogs at the party are too scared of the fireworks and so the girls have to talk to me instead.
- Everyone left the party with 10 fingers and 10 toes. Lamest 4th of July ever.
