The Lighter Side (Nov 2019)

What's the best song to sing when preparing your turkey?
"All About That Baste."

Erma Bombeck
Thanksgiving dinners take 18 hours to prepare.  They are consumed in 15 minutes.  Football halftime takes 20 minutes.  This is not coincidence.

My family told me to stop telling Thanksgiving jokes ...
... but I told them I couldn't quit "cold turkey.”

If you call a large turkey a gobbler what do you call a small one?
Goblet

Why did the police arrest the turkey?
They suspected fowl play.

Why did the turkey play the drums in his band?
Because he already had drum sticks!

If your great-grandmother saw you making boxed mashed potatoes ...
... she would turn over in her gravy.

What is a turkey’s favorite dessert?
Peach gobbler

What kind of music did the Pilgrims like?
Plymouth Rock

Jimmy Fallon
A new survey found that 80% of men claim they help cook Thanksgiving dinner.  Which makes sense, when you hear they consider saying 'that smells good' to be helping.

Who is not hungry at Thanksgiving?
The turkey because he’s already stuffed!

What’s the best dance to do on Thanksgiving?
The turkey trot

What’s the most musical part of a turkey?
The drumstick

Which side of the turkey has the most feathers?
The outside